P J JOKES

1} Never be proud nor be depressed for what position you hold in life. Because, after the game of chess is over, the King and the Soldier go into the same box..

2 } JIYO USKE LIYE JO JINE KA SHARA HO, CHAHO USE JO JAAN SE BHI PYARA HO,
RAAH ME TO MILENGE BAHUT, LEKIN SHATH USKA DO JISNE BHID ME SIRF, AAPKO PUKARA HO..

3} Bets PJs
Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
Monday is a Weak Day....
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Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark?
Ans: On Television....
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A FANTASTIC PJ:
Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn?
He'll ask:
"Where is Pop Corn?"
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Q: What is the full form of CNBC ???
Cartoon Network for Business Community !!
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Q: Do u know what is the meaning of PYAR?
Some friends sitting on the table in a BAR.....
& saying.....
"P - YAAR"
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Q1) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
A: Wear a T-SHIRT.
Q2) What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM cant?
A: Group discussion when he is alone.
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Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made 'Phoonk'?
ANS:
Uski Picchli 'AAG' ko bujhaane ke liye....
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Q: What do u call a 800 year old HanumanTemple???
MARUTI 800!!!
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Dharam Paaji subscribed to Hutch. But the hutch network did not follow him.
Why?
Bcoz the Dog was afraid,
'Kutte! Main tera khoon pee jaunga.'
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Q: Agar Bengali ka phone kat jaaye, to woh kya kahega?
Kol-Kata.....
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Q: Dada Kondake opened a Bank in the memory of his Mother's Grandmother
i.e. Great Grandmother.
What did he name the bank?
"I CHI I CHI I" Bank.
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Q: Ek Kaana Ladka kisi ladki ko propose kare to kaunsa song gaayega?
Ek NAZAR se bhi pyar hota hai, Mainesuna hai....
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Bear this PJ !!
Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala??
Simple!
The Latter is Vaccinated...!

shayari

1} Har taraf khamoshi ka saaya hai, zindagi me pyaar kisne paaya hai, hum yaadon mein jhoomte hai uski aur zaamana kehta hai dekho aaj phir peekar aaya hai...

2} Dooriyan hi dilon ko nazdik lati hai dooriyan hi ek duje ki yaad dilati hai, door hokar bhi koi kareeb hai kitna dooriyan hi iss baat ka ehsaas dilati hai..

3} phool hote teri raho me bichh jate hum, gam hote tuje kabi na satate hum ye or baat h tere dost h hum na hote to b tum pe jaan lutate hum.

4 } Ansu na hote to aankh itni khbsurat na hoti,
Dard na hota to khushiyo ki kimat na hoti,

Puri krta khuda yuhi sb murade,
To ibadat ki kabhi zarurat na hoti

THOUGHTS

1}
Trust God, he knows ur future. He may not reveal it to you but he will walk with you as the future unfolds.Don't trust the stars, trust the one who made them. Gud Day!.


2} Ansu na hote to aankh itni khbsurat na hoti,
Dard na hota to khushiyo ki kimat na hoti,

Puri krta khuda yuhi sb murade,
To ibadat ki kabhi zarurat na hoti.

3} Mat karo tum woh wada jishe nibha na sako, Mat chaho use jishe tum paa na sako Pyar har kisi ka kaha pura hota hai , Pyar ka pehla akshar hi adhura hota hai.


4} Husband and Wife Relationships
My
apologies to those, not married.They cannot enjoy these.But read them
anyway to get you in the preparation mode!!

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That you were presenting me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: Yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; After marriage: It is self-defense

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
can there be greater than this one?

My apologies to all those who do not know Hindi/Urdu for the rest of
the funny ones have elements of the Hindi/Urdu language


Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achhi lagti hay yaa aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari yeh mazaaq ki aadat bohot achhi Lagti Hay...

Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiyun bantaa..?

Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kyan hoti hein?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahin bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shaadi ho gayei
thi.

Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!

Wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5
rupey de de,Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.

An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.


How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Asad ke pappa
And then...
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho ke main aaon?

Husband to Wife : Did you Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Main is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

Thappar Maarnay par Naraaz Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar karta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahin kerti


Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.


Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you!
Wife: Non-sense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble
with you at first.

SARDAR JOKES

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.


The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150

Sardar says "I will skip this"


2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR

Sardar asks for help from the University students


3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER

Sardar asks for help from general public


4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL

Sardar asks for lucky cards


5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:

A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT

Sardar gives up.





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If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again..